Alicia Wolfe (13 years old)

Alicia’s Rules for Parenting, 1990

1. Telephones in their rooms is a must 2. Pay for them to subscribe to one to two magazines. [...]]]> Omdat het genant is. Omdat het herkenbaar is. Omdat het lief is, naief, kinderlijk, eerlijk, grof.
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Alicia Wolfe (13 years old)

Alicia’s Rules for Parenting, 1990

1. Telephones in their rooms is a must
2. Pay for them to subscribe to one to two magazines. Reading is good for them, and everyone likes to get post.
3. Support their hobbies. (If they have an abnormal obsession with James Dean, so be it.)
4. If they mention a boy’s name, but don’t want to talk about it further, don’t make them, and don’t tease them about it.
5. Don’t give them the tatty, worn out towels. If you get new towels, they get new towels.
6. Rent a film they will want to watch when you have a babysitter.
7. Keep Spaghetti Hoops in the cupboard.
8. Do their laundry. They are far too busy to think about having enough clean underwear, and it’s not that difficult.
9. Explain puberty honestly. Don’t use stupid sayings that will confuse them (the birds and the bees) and don’t give them leaflets from 1952.
10. If you have to buy them something expensive for school, don’t make it their birthday present.
11. Don’t let their siblings wake them up at 4:00 AM to clean their hair out of the shower drain.
12. Keep more than Diet Coke in the house. Everyone else has normal Coke, and your children will be regarded as weirdos for their abnormal taste in diet.
13. If it is cold in the house, turn on the heating. If it is hot in the house, open a window.

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Cringe: Toe-Curlingly Embarrassing Teenage Diaries, Letters and Bad Poetry

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